Emerald Catron
Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
It's Tuesday, so you probably need a good cry. Here, watch this video. It's children from Sandy Hook Elementary performing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' on 'Good Morning America.' The kids recorded the song, with folk musician Ingrid Michaelson, at the home of former Talking Heads members Tina Weymouth and Christ Frantz.
Last night's Golden Globes were certainly filled with some memorable moments. The Tommy Lee Jones death stare, Taylor Swift's disapproving face, Adele's delightful acceptance speech. But today most people are talking about Jodie Foster's sort of rambling acceptance speech for the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award.
2013 looks to be a good year for Super Bowl commercials, assuming you like topless women, Doritos or 'Gangnam Style.' And if you don't like any of those things, are you sure you're actually human and not a goldfish that learned how to use a computer? Brace yourself, you snobby goldfish, because Psy is doing a pistachio commercial. It is going to be awesome.
For those outside the state of California, Huell Howser, who passed away late Sunday night, might be something of a mystery. There's a chance you saw him on 'Tracy Takes On ... Hollywood,' or heard his voice on an episode of 'The Simpsons.' Southern Californians, however, are surely familiar with his self-produced travelogues of the state, which aired on KCET in Los Angeles, in all their incarnations -- 'California's Gold,' 'Visiting ... with Huell Howser' and 'California's Water,' to name a few.
Getting banned in the UK for "denigrating" bottled drinks won't stop SodaStream from bringing their message to the biggest advertising opportunity in the world -- Super Bowl 2013. The advertisement shows people carbonating water with a SodaStream and making the bottles the beverages are contained in instantly disappear. Apparently other soda manufacturers were upset and the ad was pulled from British television.
Seriously, we don't know what people were expecting when they bought a frozen Guy Fieri brand frozen S'mores pizza, but apparently it wasn't cayenne pepper. Unfortunately, that's what they got. On the bright side, the people who bought this pizza, which is available at Walmart and Sam's Club, weren't afraid to write scathing, hilarious reviews online.
It turns out to make it onto a list of the dumbest criminals, you have to actually be pretty dumb. Granted, we can't all be masterminds, but it probably doesn't take much to know you shouldn't make a YouTube video boasting about the bank you just robbed. Or tweet about punching a guy in the face. Nor should you get into a fist fight over a piece of birthday cake.