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“Love Gone Wrong” Story Submission: Our 2013 “Love Gone Wrong” Worst Date

Man in pain

Here it is: our winner of our 2013 “Love Gone Wrong” contest!  This was our favorite dating story and we hope you enjoy it too.  This date went pretty bad for this guy, but believe it or not, there’s a happy ending!  Well, sort of…

My Valentine’s Day disaster began innocently enough as a blind date set up by my roommate’s girlfriend. She seemed pretty normal upon arrival, until she began to speak. Imagine the high pitched aftereffect caused by inhaling a balloon of helium. Then add to that a vocabulary of cuss words that would make even the most diehard rap star blush.

Since I wasn’t quick enough in conjuring up a life-threatening illness in order to excuse myself for the evening, I faced the music and got ready to take my punishment by escorting the foul-mouthed squeak toy out for dinner and drinks.

Things went from bad to worse when the Italian restaurant that we chose to dine at just so happened to be the same choice as an ex-girlfriend I had recently dumped and her new beau with chiseled features. As fate would have it, we were seated near enough to their romantic, candlelit booth that she could obviously hear the ear piercing shrieks of a potty mouthed pterodactyl coming from our table.  Especially after my date sucked down glass after glass of wine which only helped to increase the volume of her vulgarity.

It was only a matter of time before I caught the smug look of satisfaction on my ex’s face as she realized that she had traded up while I had most certainly plummeted to the dismal, slimey bottom of the dating pond.

Just when I thought that it couldn’t possibly get any worse, my hungrier than anticipated tablemate decided that she wanted to sample a marinara soaked meatball off my plate. Unfortunately, the fermented grape juice she had consumed in mass quantities had impaired her aim, and her jousting fork only helped to lob the beefy ball onto my white shirt. Needless to say, the familiar laughter of my former flame seemed to echo off the wall as I slipped away into the darkness of the night with my stumbling, bumbling date in tow.

The evening didn’t end on a total sour note.  I had a message waiting for me on my answering machine after escorting my date safely home. It seems that I was more appreciated than I had realized, since the phone message from my ex was a very favorable; “Looks like you’re still a fun date!”

Thanks to everyone who sent us their dating stories, and have a happy Valentine’s Day!


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