Behka’s Adventures in Cereal: Three Hits, Two Misses
When I was a kid, cereal was a big part of life. It was the easiest breakfast you could make for yourself when you were an 11-year-old kid that was getting ready for school on your own. I’ve had my favorites over the years, sure. I’ve had some misfortunes with cereal (we don’t talk about the Pops incident), but overall, it did right by me.
Then, for some reason, in my thirties, I just… stopped eating it. Part of it might have been influenced by this job. I get up at zero dark thirty, and well, I just don’t feel like eating as soon as I get up. I’m an adult now, I can do what I want. And without the routine of eating cereal for breakfast…. I just didn’t eat it. Couple that with me starting to like savory breakfasts more, it was only a matter of time before cereal just stopped being added to the grocery list.
But, in the last year or so, cereal has definitely made a comeback in my house. It is, to me, the perfect “after work snack”. I get home in the early afternoon, way too early to eat dinner. But it’s also kind of too late for lunch. So, a nice little bowl of cereal, and I’m good until it’s time to eat something more substantial and healthier. And probably boring, with like, vitamins and such in it. Cereal, though, that can be a sugary treat for the senses! With milk. Which is kind of good for me, right? Right. Anyway, now that I’ve accepted cereal back into my life, I’ve been trying new kinds to see what will become my New Favorite.
Unfortunately, the ones I’ve been trying lately have all been called “Limited Edition”, so… maybe they won’t get added to the rotation. But they COULD if they stay – or at least, some of ‘em could. Here’s a few cereals I’ve tried lately. Read on, won’t you?
Frosted Flakes: Strawberry Milkshake
This one I had high hopes for, and it definitely exceeded those same expectations. But, I am a person who likes Strawberries and also Strawberry Flavored Things. They're not wrong, it does make some great milk at the end. I have to be careful, because my cat really likes SFM (Strawberry Flavored Milk. Specifically that brand. She won't touch a berry flavored Nesquik). If anything, this was almost too good. Like, if it was in the house, I couldn't just have one bowl. I'd also have to put a little more in the bowl to "use up the extra milk". So yes, delicious, but dangerous. But it's also really good to put as a topping on your ice cream, if you dig a little crunch. HIT.
Honey Vanilla Cheerios.
I apologize for this photo. I'm not sure why it won't turn around, but you see what it is. I'm not sure if the honey vanilla part is the limited edition part, or if it's the heart shaped pieces. Either way, this is a mild, pleasant flavor that isn't overwhelming. It's not too sweet, but sweet enough you could fool a kid into thinking they were getting a treat. I could see this being an "everyday" kind of cereal. If they made this for real, it probably won't rival the Honey Nut flavor, but I bet it could beat Apple Cinnamon. HIT.
Speaking of cinnamon, our next variety is Cinnamon Toast Crunch - Tres Leches.
I know a lot of people consider Cinnamon Toast Crunch the best cereal ever. I.... was not in that camp. I liked it fine, but it just wasn't The Best, to me. They have so many varieties. The French Toast one, the Chocolate one, the the CinnaFuego one... I admit, I can get burned out of too many different verities. Like, what's wrong with your original, man? Then, I tried the Dulce De Leche flavor (not this, the DDL flavor is a caramel kind), and that just... wow. That's just show stopping to me, that's how good that is. So I thought, come on, give this one a shot, too. Anyway, this is also very pleasant. It tastes like vanilla cake, in cereal form. Which is... what you came for. They understood the assignment. Now, would this become an "everyday" cereal for me? No. It would be a pleasant one to put in the rotation, though. HIT.
Would the Dulce De Leche be an everyday cereal? Abso-fregging-lutely.
Kellogg's Special K - Strawberry Cheesecake.
I really like Special K. It's like, an adult cereal, that is supposed to be good for you. Or at least, better for you. I'm sure it's still filled with a ton of sugar, but you feel like more of an adult buying this. I've liked the plain versions, the berry versions, and there's a honey almond vanilla version I like. So I had high hopes for this one. Big hopes. But.... just no. It didn't hit the mark. Don't get me wrong, I love strawberry cheesecake. I got a no bake in the fridge right now. But this.... just disappointed me. On a molecular level. On a "How Could You Do This To Us" kind of level. Like, I get why this seemed like a good idea. But it's just not tasty enough. And, get this, it's MORE calories to eat this than it is to eat the Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The heck? If I'm going to put it out there for a high calorie snack, it needs to be worth it. And this....just isn't. MISS.
Monster Cereal: Carmella Creeper.
So of course, everybody knows about the other three "monster cereals". I personally am a big fan of Frankenberry and Boo Berry, with the latter being my favorite of the three. So of course I wanted to try the new flavor, because I love caramel. It's a caramel apple flavor, where the others are simpler - strawberry, blueberry, and chocolate.
Firstly, I was absolutely judging this before I even got it. She's supposed to be a "Zombie DJ". Why does she have to have a job? Or is it a hobby? Was being a resurrected from the dead and reanimated somehow NOT ENOUGH to make her interesting? Does Frankenberry have a job? No. I don't know anything about Frankenberry other than he's pink and tastes like Artificial Strawberry, and that's all I need. I don't need a character that hinges itself on an activity that isn't cereal related. I appreciate the company trying to have a female character, but... honestly, you could have just slapped some eyelashes on Boo Berry and that would have been fine. I mean, it's a ghost. I guess maybe it could stay non binary? IDK.
But really, this character bugs me because it's so clearly meant to be a one-off. Now, if it were more of a classic character, I might be on board. But this just... it reminds me of Poochy. Like, it was just made to be "hep with tha kidzzzzz". And we all know that never, ever works. Kids see through that in an instant. A good cereal character doesn't need to be defined by something else. Toucan Sam follows his nose to the Froot Loops. The Trix Rabbit is on the prowl for Trix. The Cheerios Bee, or whatever his name is, he just buzzes around reminding you to eat your cereal. Captain Crunch, okay, he has a job. He's a naval man. But does he talk about it? NO. He focuses on the cereal and the crunch berries (with the occasional accident with said crunch berries) and goes on with his day. While, you know, tearing up the roof of your mouth.
The cereal itself, though, I had to order online. It's supposed to be in Wal Mart stores (and admittedly, it might be by now), but it wasn't when I went. It came quickly and was still fresh, but it was... unremarkable. Apple Jack like, not really any caramel to it. Actually, you know what this tastes like? It's like those little packets of dried oatmeal your Mom would give you on a morning she had to leave early so she left you to fix your own breakfast. The apple cinnamon oatmeal that you'd add water to and nuke. So. Not great. Not offensive, but not great. This is just a novelty, and not really all that tasty. It certainly doesn't rival the big three monster cereals. I don't see them bringing this back. MISS.
So to me, of these, the best one was, far and away, the Dulce De Leche. But if we're going with just the ones here right now, the best was the Honey Vanilla Cheerios.
What about you? Do you like to try new cereals in your house, or do you like to stick to the tried and true? What's your favorite "everyday" cereal?
LOOK: 40 Discontinued & Special Edition Kellogg's Cereals
Gallery Credit: John Robinson